Wednesday, April 28, 2010


Thank you to those of you who have sent me such sweet comments/emails. I am truly blessed to know such amazing people. I hope that experiences like the other day teach me to be more empathetic to ALL people....if so, I will count it all joy.

Hmmm...I think it's time to update on my little man!
1) He just learned how to open doors (today, actually)...I am screwed!
2) He loves to dress anything! My cousin got him an awesome dress-up bin and he goes crazy dressing up like a cowboy, or a pirate, or in my high heels....daddy is NOT a fan of that one!
3) He still isn't sleeping through the night, but we are having good and bad nights....oh man, do I LIVE for the good nights!
4) We go to a couple of classes at our community centre, and I absolutely love to see how fast he has learned the routines there, and how well he is listening to the instructions and getting along with the other kids.
5) We love to bake together....anytime I go into the kitchen he pulls the chair over to climb up and help.
6) He really loves to help out with anything that we do...he cleaned our neighbour's car the other day, then helped me to garden (gloves and all), all day on Monday.
7) He's started to cry out for me specifically when he's upset or at night. This is huge! He now knows for sure that mama or dada will be in to save the day
8) He loves to pray before meal time. We must hold hands, and we usually have to pray about three times before he'll eat. The more people there to share in the prayer, the better! He also loves to yell out "AMEN" in church after prayers (or sooner if it's going to long).
9) He still loves to sing..his favourites are our church songs. He does this crazy dance with it if we're in the car...he has moves like his dad.
10) He has an amazing memory and never forgets a face...he especially loves my friend Jamie, his cousin "Goga" and his little buddy "Lela"
11) He is crazy about the outdoors...he's not afraid to go down the highest slide at the park, and would bath in his sandbox if we'd let him!

Those are just a few of the things he amazes us with every day. I love my sweet boy!!!

Monday, April 26, 2010

The club...

I have spoken before (I don't know how to link to previous you can look in May 2009), about the Mommy Club and how I longed to be a part of this elusive group. I have longed to sit with a group of mothers and feel like I really belonged. Finally, I would fit in. I had a couple of adoptive parents say to me that I'd never really belong in the club, and I didn't believe them.

Turns out, they were right. I felt like an idiot sitting with a group of women at a baby shower this weekend. I had nothing to contribute. My experiences were not theirs, and while mine were no less painful, they were not the same. No, I don't know what it's like to carry a baby inside of me. I don't know what it's like to bring a baby home from the hospital for the first time or figure out if I should go the breast milk or formula route. People think I have no idea what it's like to get up hour after hour with a crying baby (FALSE!). I don't know what it's like to see my baby smile, or walk, or talk for the first time. I even had someone comment to me "Oh sure, you've left the hard part to us." I may have one foot in the door, but no, I am not in the club. It sucks. I wish it didn't bother me so much to be on the outskirts, to be judged, to feel insecure.

Hmm....Maybe I don't want to be in that club. Jacob couldn't be more mine if I gave birth to him myself. I couldn't love him more if I had've carried him for nine months. While I ache to have known him for the first two years of his life, to have carried him for nine months and saw his face before anyone else, I won't be bitter about a past I can't change.

I just wish it didn't hurt so much when that clubhouse door is slammed in my face.

*I should make sure to point out that not all mommies (who gave birth to their children) make me feel this way...*

I was reading a new blog this evening and found this amazing video I have to share...please watch.

What IF? A Portrait of Infertility from Keiko Zoll on Vimeo.

More to come...

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


I'm hoping that anyone who pops onto my blog over the next couple of days will take a moment to sign this petition to ask to keep Russia-US adoptions proceeding as usual while ensuring that those who harm children will be punished.


Saturday, April 17, 2010

What a Gift!

Jacob and I had our last shower today, and let me tell you, it was amazing!! He was spoiled with so many great things and he was a trooper and loved opening all the presents! He refused to take off his brand new rain coat, and insisted on going "night-night" when he opened a beautiful quilt from Grammie. He is such a sweet boy!

The last gift I opened came from my sister-in-law. It was a book-written by me!! She had taken all of the posts from my blog and had them made into the most beautiful book that I have ever seen and included some pictures of my amazing son. It was the most thoughtful gift that I have ever received, and I will cherish it forever. It will something special to share with sweet Jacob as he gets he can learn about the journey that brought me to him! I sat and read the entire thing tonight when I got home....I can't believe how far we've come!! I am so blessed in so many ways!!

I think I'm going to get Stacey to help me make another one to share with Jacob as his "life book." WHat an amazing way to share all of his information wtih him!!!

Have I mentioned how blessed I am??

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Sharing My Truth

Here is a letter from the Joint Council on International Children's Services:

We Are The Truth

A Campaign and Call to Action

The outrageous treatment of Artyem by his adoptive family has rightfully resulted in outrage by the Governments of Russia and the United States and all who care about children. The tragedy has cast a light on intercountry adoption that says it is not safe, the system failed and adopted children cause insurmountable problems. The heartbreak of Artyem Saviliev’s abandonment has once again elevated a singular incident to a level which may result in the suspension of intercountry adoption. Suspending adoption, even temporarily, will only cause thousands of children to suffer the debilitating effects of life in an orphanage.
You, the community of adoptees, adoptive parents, adoptive grandparents, child welfare professionals and child advocates know that the outrageous and indefensible actions of one parent are not indicative of how children are treated by adoptive families. You know that families who encounter difficulties do not simply abandon their child. You know that help is available, that solutions are found and that families can thrive. And you know that suspending adoption does not protect children but only subjects them to the depravity of an institution…and an entire life without a family.

You, the adoption community know the truth. You live the truth. You are the truth.

Join our campaign to bring the truth to light and help children in need find a permanent and safe family.

They have asked for anyone and every who has been touched by adoption (themselves or in their families or circles of friends), to blog about the amazing miracle that adoption is. One woman's terrible decision can't be the end for thousands - no millions- of other children who are waiting for their families.

Here we go:

My son Jacob encompasses every bit of my heart. He's been home with us for just two short months, but he's quickly become my world. I love him more than life. He is God's goodness and faithfulness exemplified. He has grown and changed so much in his time with us...but it feels like it's always been the three of us. He is happy and healthy and we are more than blessed. I made a promise to a judge, to God, and to the most beautiful little boy I have ever laid eyes on on a cold February day that I would love my new son unconditionally and forever. My gratefulness to the Russian people who took care of my little boy until I could bring him home can't be put into words. I owe it to them, to the woman who gave him life, and to my brown-eyed boy, to do the absolute best that I can for him every day. And by the grace of God alone I will do that.

God be with those waiting children.