Saturday, July 11, 2009

Lucky?

I would really like people to stop telling me that I am "lucky" to not have to go through those first 6 weeks of torture, or "lucky" not to have to deal with the pains that go along with pregnancy, or "lucky" that I'll get my kid just in time for the fun part. I can empathize completely that those things can be really, really hard. I am not taking away from that. But, I am sure that none of these people would be willing to give up any of those things if it meant not having their little one, and I would have given anything to be in those shoes.

Even as our process moves forward, I know that I would not change my broken heart, sleepless nights, seemingly unanswered prayers, depression, unsuccessful procedures, too many needles to count, unanswered questions or dollars spent for anything because it is leading me to my baby. A part of my heart is missing because I know that my baby is likely born and living in another country. MY CHILD not with me, and that tears me apart. When I bring him home, I know I'll feel whole again, but I will never forget that I am missing part of his life because I am stuck here while he waits for me to bring him home. How lucky is that?

So, please stop calling me lucky. There is nothing about the journey to my child that has been lucky. It is blessed, it is God-led, it is the answer to every one of my prayers, but it is not lucky.

So...to the next person who tells me that I am lucky without handing me a check for a large some of money...there is a strong chance you might get punched.

1 comments:

It's like Derral, but with a "T" said...

When do you get your little one? Do you know the details yet? You may have posted but I didn't see. This is very exciting. Excited to meet him or her when we sing together.