Monday, June 1, 2009

All I Can Say

Here is a new song I heard by the David Crowder Band. Actually it's an old song, but I just discovered it today. Wow, is all I can say!

Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while

And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down

And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give

I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet

I spent most of last month feeling sorry for myself. I was angry that we have't heard anything new on the adoption front, angry that I don't know where I'll be working next year, angry that I can't make plans, angry because I wanted things to be different, to be set, to be known. I was angry that I had to watch a sweet little girl say good-bye to her mother. Angry that life just isn't fair, and tired of having to deal with it all. I know that the majority of the world has to deal with a lot of harder things than I do, so I don't write this so everyone will feel sorry for me, or so that I can have a pity party (blogging is just my therapy). I really felt like God had forgotten me. Things haven't turned around quite yet, but by the grace of God and some amazing friends (who probably don't even realize how awesome they are, I am out of my funk. It's in those moments when I realize that God is with me through it all. I am never alone. My pain is leading me to bigger and better things. I am learning lessons. I am becoming more open with others. I am learning to enjoy small moments. I am becoming stronger, and in the end, I am learning to rely more on Him.


Lucy Marie said...

Love you! Praying you will feel God's peace and joy this week. Keep your chin up.